Wednesday 23 May 2012

Combat heels are really, really stupid

Back in this post, I applauded the female Lasiq Sniper model for being sensibly dressed for combat, and similarly armoured to her male counterpart.  Commenter Faust pointed out that I was being a bit hypocritical, considering the model was wearing Combat heels.  I decided not to comment until I had a figure in hand to judge for myself.  Well, now I do, and guess what?


DAMN YOU CORVUS BELLI, YOU WERE SO CLOSE.

Of all the sexist stuff that plagues miniature wargaming, combat heels are perhaps the thing that annoys me the most, just because of how completely and utterly impractical they are.  Yes, theoretically someone could run into battle dressed in a leotard, or a miniskirt, or a bikini.  But there's no way in hell anyone's running into battle (or running anywhere, really) wearing high heels.

She's also got Boob Armour, but that's another matter.

You can't even make the argument that they're some sort of futuristic shock jump heels and therefore an integral part of her armor, because if they were, then the identically statted male figure would also have high heels.

"We're wearing our ASS KICKING skirts today" (source)

Real female soldiers wear the same footwear as their male counterparts* - boots designed to be hard wearing, water resistant, and above all else practical to fight in.  Anyone attempting to go into combat in high heels is going to break something - either their shoe or their ankle.

These soldiers are not wearing high heels. Clearly, therefore, they are men. (source)

Because I didn't have the miniature on me, and only had the online pictures to go by, I assumed the female Lasiq had thick-ish boot soles, possibly as a way to increase the surface area of the foot so it attaches to the base more easily.  While this might still be partially the case, the sculpting makes it clear - her armor has high heels for no particular reason**.   Something I plan to rectify with a pair of cutters as soon as possible.
It's gonna be hell to pin her foot down afterwards though.






* Some formal or dress uniforms do include boots with a slightly higher heel.  But these aren't meant to be fought in.
** Apart from "she's a girl" of course.

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